By: Carrie Ann Noworolnik
It has been a full week since I got dumped by text message by someone that I thought was a great guy and my second chance at happiness. I had only known him for a short time but we made plans with each other. He told me all kinds of wonderful things that really made me feel good about myself. I felt 100% myself when I was with him. I didn't care about how I looked or what I said. Had I known then what I know now, I would have been more careful about what I did and said. I don't know what happened but I do know that he wants nothing to do with me!
The pain in my heart is real. This is ridiculous because it was only 3 weeks but for the first time in my life I was swept off my feet. I fell hard and fell fast! My mind told me that I was getting too wrapped up in it and that I was moving too fast. We spent a lot of time together in those 3 weeks (8 dates, texting all day and talking every day.) My friends warned me not to lose myself but I didn't care! I wanted to be with him. I wanted to talk to him as much as possible. I thought he felt the same way about me. Boy was I wrong!
Was he your classic player that builds women up only to bail or did he really get scared? I am starting to believe what I didn't want to believe; that this was his game all along. The thing is, I found him so attractive he didn't have to play mind games with me if he only wanted fun and casual sex. I would have slept with him still with no expectations. I wouldn't have fallen for him. I wouldn't have told him that I was crazy about him. I wouldn't have made summer vacation plans. I wouldn't have talked to my daughter about him. I wouldn't have told my family about this great guy that I met who I connected with on our first meeting at Starbucks. I felt it with every fiber of my being that this was going to be great and I jumped in head first but what I didn't realize was that I was jumping in the shallow end and got hurt!
He sent me a text! A text! I gave myself to him! Not just my body. I gave him a part of me. Now I am acting like a strung-out drug addict, addicted to this person and it doesn't make sense. I keep telling myself, it wasn't real! There is no possible way to fall in love in 3 weeks. Or is there? Is this what it feels like? Because no one has EVER hurt me like this ever. I am acting like a crazy person fixating on this guy who doesn't want me. I keep hoping to tug on his heart strings and hope that he is just going through something but still feels the same. Then I tell myself, he sent me a text! A very cold and callous text! The text didn't even have an apology. HE DID NOT CARE!
The words he said to me that made me fall for him "You're amazing"; "I am falling for you Carrie Ann"; "You checked all the boxes", "I love everything about you" etc. Those words meant something to me. He brought me flowers because he said that he respected what I went through with losing my husband and it meant a lot to him that I invited him into my home. He gave me this card for my birthday that said "Boy meets girl. Girl amazes boy. Boy falls for girl. Girl keeps amazing boy. Boy keeps falling." That card brought tears to my eyes. It meant something. I keep thinking of those things but then I tell myself, he broke up with me over text and then disappeared! I ripped up the card and threw it in the trash just like he did with my heart!
I want to hate him so badly! I want to get him out of my head! I shouldn't really move on yet. I am not good to anyone like this but I feel that I need to at least date. I can't pine over someone that doesn't want me!
It has been a full week since I got dumped by text message by someone that I thought was a great guy and my second chance at happiness. I had only known him for a short time but we made plans with each other. He told me all kinds of wonderful things that really made me feel good about myself. I felt 100% myself when I was with him. I didn't care about how I looked or what I said. Had I known then what I know now, I would have been more careful about what I did and said. I don't know what happened but I do know that he wants nothing to do with me!
The pain in my heart is real. This is ridiculous because it was only 3 weeks but for the first time in my life I was swept off my feet. I fell hard and fell fast! My mind told me that I was getting too wrapped up in it and that I was moving too fast. We spent a lot of time together in those 3 weeks (8 dates, texting all day and talking every day.) My friends warned me not to lose myself but I didn't care! I wanted to be with him. I wanted to talk to him as much as possible. I thought he felt the same way about me. Boy was I wrong!
Was he your classic player that builds women up only to bail or did he really get scared? I am starting to believe what I didn't want to believe; that this was his game all along. The thing is, I found him so attractive he didn't have to play mind games with me if he only wanted fun and casual sex. I would have slept with him still with no expectations. I wouldn't have fallen for him. I wouldn't have told him that I was crazy about him. I wouldn't have made summer vacation plans. I wouldn't have talked to my daughter about him. I wouldn't have told my family about this great guy that I met who I connected with on our first meeting at Starbucks. I felt it with every fiber of my being that this was going to be great and I jumped in head first but what I didn't realize was that I was jumping in the shallow end and got hurt!
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| Bringing flowers when he came to my house for lunch. This was 5 days after we met. |
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| The “Amazing” card that he gave me for my birthday along with wine and chocolates |
What happened? Why would someone seek out a person like me? I used to be so strong. I was tough as nails after the death of my husband! I don't typically chase men! I let them come to me! Is this karma for breaking someone else's heart? Did he get a good look at who I am and decide that I am gross? How can I get out of this funk? I wish I never met him. I wish I never kissed him. I wish I never gave him my body as good as it felt. Most of all, I wish I never spent the night with him!!!
All of my friends tell me that it is his loss. My ex-boyfriend told me that I was the best girlfriend that he ever had, and it is this guy's mistake that he didn't get to experience it. That makes me feel better for a very short moment but then I am filled with regret again.
What do I do now? I don't think I have any tears left to cry. Again, it was only 3 weeks! How did I fall this quickly? He manipulated me into falling for him. I have sent him all of my thoughts and fears and I have offered solutions but there has been no response. He completely ghosted!
Everyone tells me that he will realize what he lost and will resurface. However, I wish they didn't tell me that because I have been holding onto that hope. It won't happen. He doesn't want me. He doesn't love me. He never did. He wanted sex and adoration. He only wanted to feel wanted and needed. I was used for my body and soul. Now I am left completely shattered inside! He broke up with me over text...without so much as an apology…. ðŸ˜
What do I do now? I don't think I have any tears left to cry. Again, it was only 3 weeks! How did I fall this quickly? He manipulated me into falling for him. I have sent him all of my thoughts and fears and I have offered solutions but there has been no response. He completely ghosted!
Everyone tells me that he will realize what he lost and will resurface. However, I wish they didn't tell me that because I have been holding onto that hope. It won't happen. He doesn't want me. He doesn't love me. He never did. He wanted sex and adoration. He only wanted to feel wanted and needed. I was used for my body and soul. Now I am left completely shattered inside! He broke up with me over text...without so much as an apology…. ðŸ˜
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ReplyDeleteHow I feel: https://youtu.be/rsBAyWUEAgA
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